Ashenpuddle: Escape from the Wicked Knight ~Part 13~

And here I am again.

Don’t worry, you won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon.

You see, I, the author, do not consider myself a control freak. But  everything else does. For example, my computer. I tell it what to do, and it does it. That’s always the way we’ve always handled things. Spell-check thinks that it’s my boss, but I have some unexpected hum-dingers for it  (see the hyphenated word underlined in red above). The actresses (Sleeping Beauty Doll and Cinderella Doll) never deny that they are plopped in front of screen everyday and shot at, with a camera. Photo shoots are very common here. But the most rebellious of all my subjects, that I tyrannize and who I am tyrannized by, is this story.

Let me explain, and I’ll you’ll soon understand.

Part 1 of Ashenpuddle begins very well. Cinderella Doll explains in perfect past tense how her life as a princess began, and what terribly frightening things happened after that.

As things seem to be swimming along, Cinderella Doll suddenly decides to take an exotic vacation somewhere, just as we are approaching Part 2 of the story. “Alright,” I tell her, “We don’t need you, we’ll use the Sleeping Beauty Doll. And don’t think of coming back any time soon, because we don’t need you anyway. Hmmp!” That was taken care of. But as I was working on bending Part 2 to do my will, it twisted back to its own shape, and slapped me in the face.

“I want to be in present tense!” It said. What can I do when my story demands a change of tense? I must change it properly, isn’t that so? So that’s what I did, or what  I thought I did, and then, not even at Part 3 yet, the story rebels again.

“We can’t stay in present tense forever?” it whines.

I don’t listen to it anymore. “Alrighty!’ I say, “I’ll take over from here!”

Weren’t you warned that the author of this blog is a control freak? Maybe so, but this story needs to learn some manners.

So, without further ado, here is a tamed version of

Ashenpuddle: Escape from the Wicked Knight, Part 13

I don’t suppose anyone of us here can imagine being stuck in a cold blue box with a murderous witch-queen running about. For Daisy, however, imagination was currently unnecessary. It was real, the witch-queen-running-about sort of rot, and she was scared and crying. She was in such an emotional state that she didn’t even finish the last sentence in Ashenpuddle Part 12.

In the vast blue distance, Daisy heard the pattering of heels, and the intakes of breath. Surely the horrible woman was coming nearer, and she herself was stuck, trying to get a grip on her sensitive emotions.

“I can hear you, little girl,” a whisper bounced in the nothingness.

“No you can’t!” Ashenpuddle whimpered, “go away!”

“the more you talk the faster I can find you!”

“Then I won’t say anything!”

“Here I am!”

The white, icy woman now stood behind her, looking as if she was out of breath.

“I was, uh, just leaving,” Daisy stammered, getting up.

“Where will you go?” Snow White laughed,  “over there?” She gestured to the right of the empty blue space that was everywhere.

“Yes, actually.” Daisy started walking.

“You know that you can’t hide from me in this box, don’t you? There’s nowhere to hide, there aren’t even any hills.”

Once again, Daisy burst into sobs. “Whatever do you want with me?” she asked, “you used to be so nice to Charming and myself!’

“Tut, tut, you’re so unobservant!” Snow White exclaimed impatiently, “you know what I want, I want your heart!’

“But you can’t have it! You can’t, you can’t!” Daisy squeaked.

‘Well, you know what I was thinking? I was thinking that if I had your heart, I wouldn’t know what to do with it, so I thought that maybe I could banish you to a forest that nobody likes, and then my problems will be solved.”

“Why would you want to banish me? I’ve always been kind to you!” More tears.

“You’re pretty. The only woman I’ve seen that’s prettier than me, so I must be rid of you.”

“What…what about Grimhilde?!”

“I’ve never thought that crow was particularly attractive, but then everyone has their own opinions, of course.”

“No! She used to be evil, then she is locked up in the cage,and…”

“Grimmy used to be a very pretty girl. But after locking her up in a cage for a few years, that soon wore off. Besides, why did people think she was pretty when she did that crow thing? Honestly, bird hybrids give me the shudders.”

“But where am I?”

“In a box.”

“No, I mean, where am I? Have you seen the sky recently? Fish swimming about everywhere!”

“Really, how things have changed! I haven’t ventured out of doors for a few decades. My complexion can’t handle it, you realize.”

Daisy suddenly noticed that Snow White was so fair, even sunblock couldn’t keep her from crisping in window light. After thinking that, Daisy then proceeded to tell Snow White her whole life story, hoping that the selfish woman would give help. Snow White wasn’t a very good listener–as she spoke, the devious woman began to sing soprano scales and fly her hands everywhere so daintily.

When Daisy had finally finished, Snow White shrugged her shoulders.

“Well, you know that I am notorious for being a very wicked person, so I couldn’t care a prick about whatever you just said, even if I wanted to. I stopped listening somewhere after you burst into tears. Stop it now, no need for reenactments. Now I shall have to banish you, so I’ll call up to that terrible woodsman, and he’ll dump us out of here. Don’t cry anymore, I shan’t give you a Kleenex.”

As it happens, the owner, producer, photographer, etc., and I think that this an excellent way to end Part 13. There are a lot more exciting things about to happen in part 14 than Daisy robbing Snow White of Kleenex, or the woodsman dropping the two ladies out of the box onto the floor, so be sure to subscribe by email to stay tuned.

And there you have it.

Finis until later.

~Ashenpuddle: Part 6~

Once I had made my appearance known, I didn’t know what to say. There was so much I could say, and so much I didn’t know how to say.

He looked at me in a little confusion and a little bit of snide.

“Can,” I said, coughing from the hot smoke, “Can you stop for a moment?”

“No,” he replied, not blinking or changing his stare.

Then it all came. That’s what happens when you’re a woman, I think. Woman can travail under heavy burdens with quiet hearts, but we must cry sometimes, to ease the pain of it. Even if nobody listens, we must cry every now in then. And so the gush of tears came like a tornado. I couldn’t stop the tears. I was so young, so naive, so childlike. And with the gush of tears came tangled words as I tried to tell him all, hoping he could help me somehow.

His face was as blank as it was before, once I had finished.

He began to get back to his work, as if he had never heard me.

“Won’t you help me?” I pleaded, the tears beginning again, “Please, please.”

No answer.

“Can’t you see the sky up there, and realize it’s not a sky at all! It’s water, and fishes and ponds and weeds. Can’t you see it?”

He finally looked over at me again, and then peered out of the window, into the above. He glanced at me oddly, and then went back to his work.

“What’s WRONG with you?” I scolded in desperation, and then felt very ashamed of my crossness.

“Nothing’s wrong with me,” he said finally. “Look, I tell you what. I feel sorry for you. Go up that path,” he gestured, “and keep on going. Before nightfall, you’ll find somewhere to sleep, someone to take care of you. You’ll feel better after food and sleep, I think.”

“But don’t you understand–”

But he didn’t understand. Back to his work again in a world I didn’t know.

Who did he work for? He said there were more people. Someone somewhere could help me, I was sure.

He wouldn’t listen to me anymore. Never had I met a man so obstinate. Finally, with sadness, I left the cabin. A bird flew to me, and sat on my shoulder. With it my journey might not seem so lonesome, I thought, but immediately after thinking it, the bird flew away.

Ashenpuddle The Sequel: Escape From The Wicked Knight: Part 2

                 I had fallen asleep when it happened, so I do not know how it began. But, when I awoke there was screaming, and I realized there were bandits attacking the carriage.  Within moments of my realizing this, the horses shrieked, and the coach tipped. All the doors burst opens, and the robbers were everywhere like little ants in their bed.

“Listen!” Charming whispered in my ear so quickly. He grasped my hand, and continued. But before he could finish, the arrows were facing in the coach door, and a gruff voice said, “Take the passengers out!”

I stared at Charming’s distraught face with worry, and as a robber began pulling us out, and our hands released from each other’s grip.

Horses galloped away, and when I stood outside the carriage, Charming was gone. Only a few robbers remained.

Our trunks were on the forest floor, opened and gone through. A robber came and ripped the pearl necklace from my neck, and then, after they had taken all they wanted, I was left alone with the broken carriage, in the dark forest.

It had all happened so suddenly, I did not know what to do. I collapsed on the earthen floor, not caring about the mud that soiled my dress, and started to cry.

The sun had gone down by the time my eyes had dried. I walked to the carriage, and slept inside.

Rapunzel part 3

First of all, it’s time for an apology. It has been forever since this blog has been updated. No fairy tale should be left hanging in the balance for months and months like the way Rapunzel has been…I am terribly sorry ;(

However, that being said, let us continue our story…

The sun is setting, and the light is decreasing in the little castle tower. The plumber continues to frantically search through the young woman’s box, when he looks up a little slowly, and meets her radiant gaze.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“My name?”

“Yes, your name. Are you Rapunzel?” She glanced down and blushed a little, but she didn’t know why.

“Why, yes, yes, I am Rapunzel…how did you know?”

The plumber coughed a little, he himself now turning a little pink, and replied, “Oh, I just heard someone calling, and you’re the only one here besides Mrs. Orangette.”

“MISS Orangette,” Rapunzel corrected gently.

“Well, er, yes. Miss Orangette…oh, well, there are no plumbing books in here.”

“Oh dear,” the young woman replied.

“You know,” he said, feeling his manhood stir up in him like a thermometer on a hot day, “I’ll just have to risk it. I am sure there are pipes on this roof somewhere, and I’ll find them yet.”

He somehow managed to hoist his small and boxy body up the window.

“Goodbye, fair lady!” he exclaimed, and vanished. His disappearance was so sudden, in fact, that Rapunzel was moved to run to the window and look out after him.

In that time, he had successfully managed to, without a doubt, balance himself on the castle’s fine brick trim. Though his face was a little flushed, and his countenance was a little shaken, he was so filled with the spirit of manhood that he nearly forgot why he was up on the roof. Reality at this time, took opportunity to dawn on him, and when it did, his cheeks were no longer flushed, and his energy dropped with a thud he was sure even Rapunzel could hear.

“What is it?” she cried.

“Umm, just a thought,” was his unsure retort.

“What kind of thought?”

“Just um, it seems to me, that I’ve never seen water go up a pipe, but down.”

“What’s that?” her angelic voice asked.

“How many times have you seen water go UP a pipe?”

The silence. The silence that doomed over Earth after that question was almost unbearable. Finally, very slowly, he thought he saw Rapunzel’s lips move (and very steadily, too, with no quiver). Did he see her lips move, or was it only a glare? Did he? Was it? WAS–

“No, no, water always goes DOWN a pipe.”

That answer ruined the spirit of manhood if anything could have. Bob felt his fingers grow numb, and with little warning, he let go of the wall.