*Cinderella sits alone in house as father and devious market woman go out on a date*
Cinderella: I can’t believe they weren’t to Farmer Hansel’s kitchen and didn’t take me. I’m hungry. I know my rights. I deserve to eat supper with everyone else. I’M SPECIAL.
Cinderella: Plus, all sorts of horrible things can happen to kids when they’re home by themselves
Cinderella: SHE’S A WITCH AND I KNOW IT! That makeup doesn’t fool me! I can tell that there’s a wart on her nose when there is and there is!
Cinderella: I can’t believe I have to sweep! You know what, my mind is made up. I won’t clean the house and that will show him. I’ll run off and fall in love with a prince! You know what they say, the best revenge is revenge with a smile. I’ll plot their demise. I’ll marry a prince…from a different village! THEN they’ll see…
*Suddenly Cinderella remembered the words of her mother: “Promise me that you’ll be a good…girl.” dies. She tried to ignore the words, but finally gives in to the memory.
Cinderella: Alright. I’ll be good. But I’ll take a nap first before I sweep the kitchen
*stretches out on hearth to take a nap*
Meanwhile, at Farmer Hansel’s Fine Dining…
Father: And that is how I became the best tax collector in the village
She: I’m blown away
Father: Well, I mean, it’s nothing, really. Just all in a day’s work
She: How fascinating a man you are *giggles*
Father: I know, right? Haha.
*drinks more beer*
Father: Ah, nothing like a good beer.
She: I personally prefer wine
Father: *gasps* only the people from the Gingerbread Village like wine!
She: Aye, my homeland\
Father: *startled, backs away*
She: Does my lineage frighten you?
Father: Isn’t that…um, I mean, um, Gingerbread Village, didn’t the tragedy, um, happen there?
She: Which tragedy?
Father: *gasps* Aghsg! i mean, well, the one I heard about was the cookies that sort of…ran off the baking dish and into the enchanted…I mean, the forest
She: Ha! Because the pan was so hot that’s why. Why, you don’t honestly think those cookies were alive when they jumped off the pan and ran into the woods, do you? I mean, they’re not real men, gingerbread men…
Father: Ha! No, of course not! But one can’t help hearing things. And then, what was that foolish event…the story of the two boys and girl who barely made it out of their grandma’s house because there was a giant cookie made out of a wolf that ate the girl?
She: ah! You’re mixing two tall tales. The girl, Red, did get eaten by a wolf, and Hans and Gretchen did get lost in the woods and scared terribly by a poor granny, but her house was not made of sweets, and she certainly didn’t put those two imps into an oven!
Father: Oh! I see! *drinks nervously*